I was doing some research on “low-carbon economy” (Yes, I do have a fascinating job. Tomorrow I’m going to research tort reform!) and ran across what is arguably the worst speech
I’ve seen in quite some time. There are so many problems, it could stand as a recipe for failure.
To protect the guilty, I won’t highlight the speaker or organization, but here’s a run-thru of the problems.
Boring Opening – If you’re spending anything more than 30 seconds saying ‘thank you for inviting me’ you’re going to lose your audience. Get to the meat fast.
Where’s the WIIFM ? – Following a bad opening, the speaker then proceeds to confirm the audience’s worst fears: this person has no clue what the audience wants to hear. The speaker says: “Today, I am happy to share with you what XYZ has done in the area of energy efficiency, environmental protection and fuel production as well as my views on world energy, the environment and global economy.” Whatever happened to the mandate that every speech must give the audience something back and honor every listener’s main question: What’s In It For Me?
Commercial Speak – Three paragraphs of “here’s what my company does” comes next. Ugh. That should be in the promotional literature or in the speaker’s intro. Not in a speech.
Telling Them What They Know – If the audience isn’t already asleep, the speaker then proceeds to enlighten them with stuff they already know: there’s an energy crisis, an environmental crisis and financial crisis. And ... wait for it ... all of this is creating “challenges.” Nearly four pages of this nonsense. Still nothing the audience needs.
Numbing Them With Numbers – Numbers are hard to hear and difficult to process. If you have to use them, find a way to simplify or restate them. But one paragraph in this speech contained the following: 1.8 trillion RMB, 1.27 trillion RMB, 24th, 500, 5th, Top 50, 2008, 108 million tons, 58%, 61.7 billion cubic meters, 80% and six years.
We Interrupt This Speech for Another Commercial – As if the first commercial wasn’t enough, the speech ends with three pages of what XYZ is doing to adapt and become a “diversified global enterprise.” There might be a nugget here for the savvy listener – if any were still awake. But not much the audience can walk away with and use.
Ending? What Ending? – Honestly, I don’t think I’ve seen an ending like this outside a Speech 101 college classroom. The speaker finishes with: “That’s the end of my speech. Thank you for your attention.” (Insert sounds of crickets chirping nervously here.)
Other than that, it was practically flawless.
So endeth the lesson. I yield the soapbox.
To protect the guilty, I won’t highlight the speaker or organization, but here’s a run-thru of the problems.
Boring Opening – If you’re spending anything more than 30 seconds saying ‘thank you for inviting me’ you’re going to lose your audience. Get to the meat fast.
Where’s the WIIFM ? – Following a bad opening, the speaker then proceeds to confirm the audience’s worst fears: this person has no clue what the audience wants to hear. The speaker says: “Today, I am happy to share with you what XYZ has done in the area of energy efficiency, environmental protection and fuel production as well as my views on world energy, the environment and global economy.” Whatever happened to the mandate that every speech must give the audience something back and honor every listener’s main question: What’s In It For Me?
Commercial Speak – Three paragraphs of “here’s what my company does” comes next. Ugh. That should be in the promotional literature or in the speaker’s intro. Not in a speech.
Telling Them What They Know – If the audience isn’t already asleep, the speaker then proceeds to enlighten them with stuff they already know: there’s an energy crisis, an environmental crisis and financial crisis. And ... wait for it ... all of this is creating “challenges.” Nearly four pages of this nonsense. Still nothing the audience needs.
Numbing Them With Numbers – Numbers are hard to hear and difficult to process. If you have to use them, find a way to simplify or restate them. But one paragraph in this speech contained the following: 1.8 trillion RMB, 1.27 trillion RMB, 24th, 500, 5th, Top 50, 2008, 108 million tons, 58%, 61.7 billion cubic meters, 80% and six years.
We Interrupt This Speech for Another Commercial – As if the first commercial wasn’t enough, the speech ends with three pages of what XYZ is doing to adapt and become a “diversified global enterprise.” There might be a nugget here for the savvy listener – if any were still awake. But not much the audience can walk away with and use.
Ending? What Ending? – Honestly, I don’t think I’ve seen an ending like this outside a Speech 101 college classroom. The speaker finishes with: “That’s the end of my speech. Thank you for your attention.” (Insert sounds of crickets chirping nervously here.)
On top of that, the speaker forgot to:
- Give the speech a structure the audience could follow;
- Insert some language that was fresh and exciting;
- Drop in a few quotes, anecdotes, stats or any research that would make the audience want to listen;
- Reach for something other than a basic informational talk;
- End with something rousing.
Other than that, it was practically flawless.
So endeth the lesson. I yield the soapbox.
Fletcher,
Speakers like the one you cite drive me crazy. I want to give them an invoice for their (mis)use of my time. Do they really think they're fostering any good will for their organization?
Chris
Posted by: Chris Witt | September 02, 2010 at 05:31 PM