Commencement Speeches: The Bad, the Horrendous, and the Inspired

Commencement season has largely come and gone at universities and colleges around the nation. And, once again, we’re left with the remains of speeches that ran the gamut from wonderful (thank you, Tom Brokaw.) to horrendous (think Ellen DeGeneres).

So, here’s a quick, non-scientific roundup of 2009 commencement speeches. By nonscientific I mean that these are the ones that popped up first on a Google search. (No Obama speech here – I’ve left that to others.) WARNING: IT’S A BIT LONG.

Possibly the biggest surprise is that most of these were pretty bad. If this year’s lot is typical, it’s no wonder why so few people remember their commencement speakers. Many of these speeches had potential but then ran into a variety of self-made traps. Overall, they provide us with a few key lessons.

First lesson: It’s not about you, it’s about the graduates.

Several speeches fell into this trap. For whatever reason, speakers feel that if they’re asked to speak, their life stories must be interesting to the graduates. Well, probably not. A commencement speaker’s first rule is to remember that it’s a day when the graduates are properly the center of attention.

A prime example of breaking that rule? The speech by Mokenge Malafa at the University of Wisconsin-Green Bay. He gave his life story.  For 17 minutes. He used 59 “I” words and only 21 “you” words, a clear example that he forgot the rule. Compare that to Tom Brokaw’s speech which had only 21 “I” words and 43 “you” words. More about Brokaw in a moment.

Ben Bernanke’s speech at the Boston College School of Law was a little too ego-centric for my taste as well. He starts off well and gave a nice opening and self-deprecating laugh lines about being a commencement speaker. “A practitioner, like me, of the dismal science of economics--and it is even more dismal than usual these days--is not usually the first choice for providing inspiration and uplift.”

Then he took what he’s observed at the Fed and put it into a lesson for the graduates to carry away. At least, that’s what he promised when he spoke about the unpredictability of life. But then falls into the trap of telling too much about himself. I think he could have done better by telling them how to prepare for the random shocks he’s observed. Some practical advice would have been nice.

Second lesson: It’s not about your organization, it’s about the graduates.

This the equivalent of being asked to speak at the Detroit Economic Club and giving a 20-minute pitch for your company. You won’t be invited back. What these speakers forget is that the audience wants their insights, not an ad.

Wendy Koop of Teach for America fell into this trap. Her talk at Washington University offers a false promise by saying she’s there to “talk to you about your choices at this stage of your lives…” Then she delivers example after example culled from the Teach for America archive of marketing stories.

Another example? Rick Klaus of Google. Actually, he could fit into either of the first two categories. Did Klaus really think people want to know that Google indexes as much content every four hours as is in the U.S. Library of Commerce? How’s that for inspiring? Way too much about him and Google, not enough about the audience.

Jamie P. Merisotis, President, Lumina Foundation for Education, shows a better way to mention your organization but keep the focus clearly on the graduates. In his short talk at Spring Arbor University, he starts by thanking the graduates.

“You may not fully realize it now,” Merisotis says, “particularly on a day like today, which is properly focused on celebrating personal victories—but the degree that you've earned isn't just about you or even the loved ones who share this moment with you. It benefits all of us.” He explains his comment by sharing Lumina’s mission to promote college education. Then he quickly gets back to the graduates. Ten minutes and he’s off the stage. Good work.

Third lesson: Passion counts.

Paul Hawken is an environmental activist and author who gave the commencement address at the University of Portland. This is one of the better ones I found.

At first, I thought his speech fell a little too much into the commercial category. The second time through I tried to envision what it must have been like to hear it and came away with a far different perspective. For pure passion, give him an A+. But he does more than share his passion. “Don't be put off by people who know what is not possible. Do what needs to be done, and check to see if it was impossible only after you are done.” Ah, back to the graduates!

He’s brief – always a plus. And he includes a number of nice rhetorical devices. Rhetorical questions … quotes … sentence variation … and startling factoids like: “Think about this: we are the only species on this planet without full employment.”

This is one of the few where I wished I had been in the audience.

Fourth lesson: Humor has its limits.

For the life of me I can’t figure out why a university would choose to end a graduate’s career with coarse, inappropriate humor. Students spend tens of thousands of dollars and you reward them with a comic they could see on YouTube for free?

Point in case: Tulane University who asked Ellen DeGeneres to provide the entertainment … er, commencement … this year. Tulane needs to get its money back on this one.

Maybe it’s me. The audience laughed, as you can see here. But I can’t imagine a more insulting commencement speech. Not insulting in a racial or ethnic way. But could there be anything more offensive than to be at the pinnacle of your educational career and having to listen to your commencement speaker talk about “boobies” and “knockers.”

Those of you who know me also know I'm not a prude. Far from it. But is this what a celebration of higher education has come to?

Consider this bit of wisdom: “I guess what I'm trying to say is life is like one big Mardi Gras. But instead of showing your boobs, show people your brain, and if they like what they see, you'll have more beads than you know what to do with. And you'll be drunk, most of the time.” Ugh.

Fifth lesson: If you want class, ask classy people.

The cream of the crop came from Joe Biden and Tom Brokaw who both provided model speeches.

They both followed roughly the same outline: Offer congratulations … open softly with self-deprecating humor … put the world into perspective … tell the graduates how they can help. It really is that simple.

Brokaw spoke at William and Mary and put the events of the day into perspective better than anyone: “So we know that these are difficult times, but these occasions are reaffirmation of the American dream. And for all the graduates and families and those of us who are privileged to be guests, this (commencement) is a sense of renewal.”

“We may not have given you a perfect world,” Brokaw says later, “but we have given you dynamic opportunities for leaving a lasting legacy …. So where to begin? That's a decision you are best prepared to make. And it will be the most rewarding for you if it is rooted in a personal passion and carried out with purpose, even if the first steps are small.”

He also gave us some of the nicest one-liners. Consider these:

• This may come as a surprise to some of you, but you'll not get a Google alert when you fall in love. … all the search engines in the universe cannot compete with the first kiss.
• It will do us little good, in other words, to wire the world, if we short-circuit our souls.
• It's a lot tougher to make a make a buck these days, but making a difference has its own rich reward.

Joe Biden’s talk at Wake Forest is equally pleasing – a true stand-out. Biden begins by gaining instant rapport and credibility by mentioning he is a father of three. He delivers some good laugh lines and then provides a touching nod to Tim Russert who was originally scheduled to provide the commencement.

I’m sure he meant every nice word. But he was also smart enough to know he could borrow some credibility from Russert. Not a bad idea because he used the entire Russert tribute as a nice segue into his main points.

Biden talked about the world's problems. And then turned to the graduates: “Throughout the span of history though, only a handful of us have been alive at times when we can truly shape history. Without question, this is one of those times, for there's not a single solitary decision confronting your generation now that doesn't yield a change from non-action as well as action.”

And later: “As corny as it sounds, this really is your moment. History is yours to bend. Imagine. Imagine what we can do.”

He also performed a nice trick of picking a few graduates to highlight. Most touching was his story of Fred Hastings who was graduating at age 76.

Best of all, perhaps, was his closing. He took his time and he made it count: “You are the possible. That is not hyperbole. You are the possible. We are the possible. And we have at once finally come to it. So seize it. Seize it. Because if you do not, it will slip from our grasp and determine the world you live in while you sit idly by.”

Commencement speeches aren’t difficult to write if you can remember the lessons above. Remember the occasion. Remember the audience. Use humor wisely (and briefly). Set the table by giving your perspective on the world. And leave them with something to chew on.

Comments

[Tony Balis]

Good morning!

Mr. Dean, your comments are excellent, your perspective keen on identifying some of the ways in which the best speeches truly honor the occasion. And yes, each speech must be judged as if one were there, listening well and watching the faces of the audience.

Over twenty years, we have read thousands of commencement speeches. You can read the very best at: www.humanity.org.

Cheers,

Tony Balis
The Humanity Initiative

[Fletcher Dean]

Thanks Tony. In fact, I was intrigued by your own site and was thinking of posting a separate story about it in the future. May still do so. In the meantime, thanks for the comments. - Fletcher

[Lynn]

Thank you for this, Fletcher, I so enjoyed your perspective that I wanted my readers to enjoy it too!

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[Chris Witt]

Fletcher,

Like you, I enjoy listening to commencement speeches. Some years I enjoy doing so more than others, mind you. I love your analysis of what makes such speeches work. Like you I think they should be about the graduates. (It always helps to address the audience's needs and concerns.) They should offer insight, hope, and maybe even wisdom. And they should be short. Humor is the icing on the cake. (I like icing.)

Thanks for the thoughtful comments.

Chris

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